


Seeing You

by unicorndads



Category: Gandrew - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drunken Kissing, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Questioning, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26312542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicorndads/pseuds/unicorndads
Summary: Andrew drunkenly enters the wrong apartment and meets a sword-yielding man. After getting off on the wrong foot, he must come to understand who he is.
Relationships: Andrew Siwicki/Garrett Watts
Comments: 40
Kudos: 84





	1. The Drunken Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sort of enemies to lovers AU where Andrew is living with Ricky and Garrett is living with Caleb in the same apartment complex.
> 
> Please be aware that this story features the f-slur. I will attempt to limit it's use to only once, but I may include it again in future conversations referencing it. This is not indicative of how the person using it in this story is in real life.
> 
> No disrespect to Garrett or Andrew. I love both of them. They are my dads even if they aren't an irl couple.

If you ask Andrew, he knows exactly where he is. He knows all about this familiar hallway leading to the familiar door to his apartment, which he guesses he accidentally left unlocked. And despite the copious amount of alcohol in his system, he is indeed aware enough to recognize the change in decor in the living room, where the light was apparently left haphazardly on. His roommate certainly has some explaining to do.

"Rick-" Andrew slurs out, stumbling onto the new couch, "keyyyyyyyyy-" His call is cut short by the sudden appearance of a sword-yielding giant. Andrew lets out a delayed yelp. "No! Help!" Andrew flails on the couch, but he can't find the strength to actually get up. "Stupid...legs."

The giant begins to speak. "Who are you? Why are you in my apartment?"

"I-. Your? I'm...uh, drunk?"

The giant lowers his sword, his lips slowly forming into a grin that Andrew doesn't quite understand. "Ya, I see that now."

Andrew stares up at the figure in front of him, taking him in and realizing that he isn't really a giant, but a tall human man. He's in a large shirt and shorts, and his hair is tousled. His wire-framed glasses are slightly askew. He's just woken up, Andrew realizes. "Sorry," he mumbles. "Thought 's'was my place."

"I see that too. Here, let me put this up and I'll get you some water."

"Mmmkay." Andrew settles back into the couch, a sense of calm falling over him. He shuts his eyes, somehow knowing he can trust this man as he hears him bustling around his apartment. 

When he is prompted to open his eyes moments later, he sees that the harsh yellow light has changed to a muted purple. "Whoa, magic," he decides, taking the water from the tall man. "Yer a wizard, Harry!" he blurts out in an exaggeratedly terrible accent, giggles spilling over.

The man quickly takes the water back, effectively saving it from being spilled. He's laughing along with shining eyes, Andrew notes. "Unfortunately, there's no magic involved," the man tells him.

"It's'okay. Your secret's safe with me, Harry." Andrew sends him a slow wink before reaching out for the water again.

The man hands it to him before sitting on the other end of the couch. "The name's actually Garrett. What about yours?"

"Andrew," Andrew mumbles around the cup.

"Nice to meet you Andrew, albeit how it happened," Garrett continues good-naturedly. 

Andrew snorts with laughter. "Ya, sorry 'bout that."

"Nah, it's okay. You live in this apartment complex though, right?"

"Oh, ya. In a building. One of them. Definitely. I just don't...know where..." Andrew holds the now empty cup out for Garrett to take. "S'was at a party. Which is why, uh, tryna go home."

"Oh! My roommate invited me to a party tonight, but I had a migraine so I didn't go. Maybe it was the same one," Garrett muses.

"Should've gone. It was..." Andrew stops, his sluggish brain working overtime to recall what happened just hours before. "...sad."

Garrett's brow furrows. "Sad?"

Andrew nods, not really hearing the whimpers slipping through his lips. 

"What happened?" Garrett asks softly, leaning closer.

"My girlfriend broke up with me," Andrew whispers, letting the reality of the situation settle in his mind. "She hates me now."

A moment of silence passes between the two men. "I'm so sorry," Garrett finally says.

Andrew shrugs, wiping at his eyes. They're damp, and he doesn't understand why. "S'okay. Don't care anymore." He believes it in the moment.

"Let me get you some more water." 

Andrew nods and closes his eyes once more. He feels bad. He wishes he didn't have to remember, but now every harsh word shouted at him plays in his mind.

He's brought back when Garrett presses the cup back into his hand. "Thanks, Garr-." His hand moves faster than his mouth, bringing the cup to his mouth and filling it with water before he could finish. He hears Garrett chuckle quietly.

"Why don't you stay the night?" Garrett suggests after a few moments.

"Wha-?"

"You don't have to," Garrett quickly adds. "But you don't know where you are and I don't want you running into trouble in this state."

"Oh. Right."

"So you can rest here. But I get if you don't want to, since we just met." 

Andrew considers, rolling his head along the back of Garrett's couch. "'Kay," he decides not a second later. "Thanks, man."

"Ya, no problem." Garrett stands and takes the cup from Andrew's limp hand. His voice raises as he goes to the kitchen. "That couch is murder on a back, so you can take my bed if you want."

"Where will you sleep?" Andrew calls out. He takes this time to look around the room, seeing a handful of tiny objects laying around. He doesn't know what exactly he's looking at, but it brings a small smile to his face.

"The couch."

"Your back'll die," Andrew objects, his attention brought back to the tall man standing in front of him once again.

Garrett shrugs. "It's fine. Do you need anything else before I show you the bed?"

Andrew stumbles to his feet. "You to...sleep in the bed with me." Garrett seems to freeze and Andrew quickly rushes out an explanation. "Unless it's, like, small, I guess. But I just-. I don't wanna kick you out, ya know?"

Garrett scratches the back of his head. "It's big enough," he says tentatively. "If you really don't mind sharing with a stranger, it should be fine."

Andrew nods. "Cool." He slips off his shoes and his hoodie, throwing them onto the couch. It doesn't even dawn on him that he's still technically in a stranger's place and should show more restraint. He feels strangely comfortable around Garrett, who is now watching him with a strange look in his eye. "Ready," Andrew declares, oblivious to it all.

Taking a wobbly step forward, he reaches out for support. Garrett offers an arm and they make their way to the bed. Andrew lets out a grunt of appreciation as he is deposited onto the mattress. He digs into the sheets and shuts his eyes, feeling the bed sink as Garrett gets in on the other side. "Thanks, man," he mumbles.

It doesn't take long for Andrew to realize he can't fall asleep. His can feel that his body is exhausted, but his mind is still insistent on running a marathon, tossing memories around in his skull. _**"You never made me feel like you love me!"**_ He sighs heavily and rolls onto his side. He watches Garrett for a bit, taking in his shut eyes and gently rising and falling chest. Then, without thinking, he blurts out, "Are you awake?"

Several seconds pass and he realizes Garrett probably isn't and that he should actually try to sleep as well. But before he fully commits to the idea, Garrett grumbles and turns his head toward him. "I almost wasn't," he tells him in a raspy voice.

"Oh. Sorry." 

Garrett's lips turn up. "It's okay."

"I can't sleep."

Laughter rumbles in Garrett's chest. "I figured."

"Can we talk? I mean, I hardly know anything about you."

Garrett shifts to fully face Andrew. "Ya, that's fine. I was planning on sleeping in anyway."

Andrew grins at Garrett, who gives him one back. _He has a great smile_ , he briefly thinks. "Why was your place unlocked anyway?"

"Because I was expecting my roommate to come home drunk as a skunk, not you."

"Ouch." Andrew sticks his lower lip out in a fake pout.

"Hey, don't act offended!" Garrett exclaims, his voice rising an octave. "I didn't even know you existed before tonight!"

"Well, that sounds like a you problem," Andrew declares dramatically.

Both men fall into bouts of laughter. It registers in Andrew's mind that they're closer than before, but he can't remember who was responsible for this.

"You have a very distinctive laugh," Garrett comments after they've both settled back down.

Andrew rolls his eyes. "Ya, it sucks."

"What?" Garrett asks, sounding genuinely surprised. "No it doesn't."

Andrew leans closer, whispering conspiratorially. "Don't tell anyone, but I hate it. My girlfri-. Ex girlfriend. She hates it. Everyone hates it." More giggles spill out.

This time Garrett doesn't laugh along. "I don't," he says quietly.

Andrew sighs and slaps a hand to Garrett's chest. "You're too nice," he mumbles. "And handsome, too." He's not sure why that slips out, but he doesn't take it back. He focuses on his hand, still resting on Garrett, and realizes he can feel his heartbeat increasing.

Garrett looks away and gently pulls Andrew's hand off him. "You should go to sleep. You'll have a clearer head in the morning."

"I could," Andrew slurs out, his brain lighting up with the best idea he's had all night. "Orrrr..." 

Garrett glances back up questioningly. Andrew doesn't give him time to speak before he lunges forward, attaching his lips to Garrett's. There is only a moment of hesitancy before he feels Garrett kissing him back.

It feels great. _Much better than with Gabbie_ , Andrew's mind taunts spitefully. He deepens the kiss, his tongue desperate to explore this new mouth. He loves it.

Until his intoxicated brain catches up and he realizes what exactly he's doing. He pulls away, horrified, flailing his arms and striking Garrett in the chest. "Get off!" he gasps out. Anger begins to flood his body. He doesn't stop to think about who he's angry at. "I'm not a f*ggot freak like you!"

Andrew hardly hears Garrett calling out his name as he struggles out of this trap of a bed. He runs out of the room, out of the living room, back into the blinding hallway. He doesn't know how long he tripping over his own feet before he finally spots the door to his own familiar, safe apartment.

As he reaches for the handle, his stomach begins to gurgle. He holds himself, trying to keep everything inside, but there is too much alcohol and water sloshing around inside him. He can't stop it all from coming out, falling to his knees and crying out as pain sears through him, traveling from the pit of his stomach up to his throat.

When there's nothing left to come up, feeling emptier than he ever has before, Andrew blacks out.


	2. The Unexpected Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just say that I don't follow Caleb or Ricky as closely as Garrett and Andrew, so I apologize if I get their characterizations wrong. Blame it on being an AU lol.

When Garrett wakes up, he feels like shit. Flashbacks from the night before instantly hit him like a ton of bricks, filling the pit of his stomach. The only thing that makes him think that maybe he should actually get out of bed is hearing Caleb singing in the living room.

He leaves his room half an hour later, barely picking his feet up. He sees his roommate sitting on the couch, where _he_ had been, eating a bowl of cereal and humming to himself.

"Hey!" Caleb calls out. Right away, he seems to realize something is wrong and his smile falters. "What's up?"

Garrett stops in the middle of the room, his eyes falling on the shoes and hoodie that were forgotten, still laying on the couch.

"Did you pretend to have a migraine just so you could have a guy over?" Caleb teases, only a hint of worry still present in his overly chipper tone. He puts his bowl down when Garrett still doesn't answer and moves the foreign items out of the way.

Grateful, Garrett finally sits. "No," he sighs out. "It's a crazy story. I don't know where to begin."

"Wherever sounds right."

Garrett closes his eyes and tells Caleb everything, from hearing a stranger enter their home to him offering him a place to sleep to the stranger calling him a name and running away. With every word, he feels dumber and dumber. _I should have just kicked him out right away. I'm too trusting._

Caleb rests a reassuring hand on Garrett's shoulder once he's done. "That's so fucked up."

Garrett nods. "And it's all my fault," he whispers.

"What?" Caleb exclaims. "No it's not!"

"I shouldn't have offered to let him stay! Or sleep in my bed. Or at the very least, I shouldn't have kissed him back. He was drunk and heartbroken and it was wrong of me." Garrett feels his stomach twist, recognizing how easily it could have escalated. 

Caleb sighs. "Listen, man. Despite all that, if you had pulled away, he would have felt rejected and lashed out the same way." Garrett has to admit that Caleb is probably right. "So don't focus on blaming yourself, okay?"

Garrett knows he can't honestly agree to that, that it'll stay in the back of his mind for a while. "I don't know what to do with his things," he says instead, dropping his head into his hands.

"Fuckin'... I dunno, burn them. To ash, and then find out where he lives and blow it right in his face." 

Garrett let out a small laugh. "Are you still drunk?"

Caleb flicks his wrist with an offended scoff. "No, I'm fine. Coconut water, baby. Besides, we're not talking about me. We're talking about this fuckwad."

Garrett sighs, disappointed that his attempt at deflection didn't work. "Ya..."

"Really though. Do you know where he actually lives?" Garrett shakes his head. "Did you get a last name?" Again, Garrett shakes his head. "Then just forget him. What are the chances you'll run into him again?"

Garrett shrugs. "It's possible. We apparently live in the same apartment complex."

"Pfft." Caleb waves his hand in the air once more, brushing off the idea. "Well, if you _do_ see him again, you walk right up to him and you tell him he can never expect to see his shit again."

Garrett grins up at his roommate, starting to feel better. "Why not?" he asks eagerly. "What are you gonna go?"

"You leave that to me, buddy. It might involve fire." Caleb winks and the two men fall into comfortable laughter, knowing the most he'll do is just toss the items in the trash. "But really," Caleb continues, wiping at his watering eyes. "Forget him. He's not worth your energy."

Garrett nods, though he knows it will be almost impossible to just forget this man. Andrew was a complex character, even when drunk, which becomes even more apparent when considering their last few moments together. And despite it all, the pain that kept him up all night, Garrett is mostly just sad. He's sad because he thought he could have made a new friend. But it obviously wasn't meant to be, with this potential friend so easily throwing it all away and blaming him for it.

"Ya. Thanks, Caleb." Garrett shakes his head to clear it, knowing he needs to move on. "Anyway, how was your night? I wanna know. How was the party?"

Caleb claps his hands together and hoots with laughter. "Oh, it was wild, man! You missed a lot."

"Ya?" Garrett grins excitedly.

"Yeah. Let's see. This guy was so wasted he hit his head and had to be driven to the hospital."

Garrett grimaces. "Ouch. Is he okay?"

"I dunno, probably. Oh, someone accidentally let the dog out of the bedroom. He was such a good boy!" Caleb gushes between his teeth. "Though he did steal a whole pizza and it took almost an hour to catch him again."

Garrett giggles as he pictures the hungry rascal. "Aww, I can't believe I missed a dog!"

"See, this is why you should have gone! Oh, but the main event, man," Caleb chortles.

"What was it?" 

"This girl broke up with her boyfriend _very_ publicly. When I tell you it was brutal...man. She was just yellin' at the top of her lungs, really letting him have it."

"Oh man."

"Yeah. It was the talk of the party for the rest of the night, I swear. I wish I could remember their names. There were just so many people, though. And even more alcohol and other _things_ , you know what I mean?" Before Garrett can agree, Caleb continues. "But anyway. So she leaves, calling him names even as she's walking through the door, and you know what he does? Downs like three more drinks and then runs out after her. What a poor sap."

Garrett frowns. The whole situation just makes him sad. Despite having such a large presence that often garners the attention of others, he himself has never had such a negative display happen. He can't even imagine what the poor man must have felt like. "Anything positive happen?" he asks hopefully.

Caleb shrugs. "Ya, I mean I had a good time with Ricky and his friends. I met so many cool people. Next time you'll meet everyone, too, yeah?"

"Definitely."

"Nice." Caleb shoots Garrett another grin before getting to his feet. "I could use some more cereal. Want some?"

Garrett nods. As he watches Caleb rummage around the kitchen, his mind is involuntarily brought back to the night before, how he got Andrew water from the same kitchen. His semi-permanent smile slips before he sets his jaw and resolves to do his best to push Andrew out of his mind. He'll never see him again, like Caleb said. He can pretend he doesn't exist. He can pretend those words were never spoken to him.

But those words turn out to be insidious. They creep into Garrett's mind whenever he closes his eyes at night. They play like a broken record, morphing into the voices of his peers so many years ago, stirring memories best left forgotten.

Garrett doesn't tell Caleb about this, or any of his other friends or family. It was a long process to get a point where he could love this aspect of himself, and he is too ashamed to admit that anyone could cause him to regress back into uncertainty, let alone a stranger. 

So he doesn't. He carries on like usual, a smile ever on his face, as the week passes. And when the weekend finally arrives, Caleb brings up a great distraction.

"Guess what we're doing tonight!" he demands happily, slinging an arm over Garrett's shoulder. 

Garrett glances up at the taller man, a grin starting on his face. "Looking for ghosts!"

Caleb cackles. "Not tonight, my friend. Ricky invited me to another party and I told him you'd actually come this time. Because you're coming, right?"

"Ya, totally! And this is the guy you want to start a band with, right? I definitely want to meet him."

"Awesome!" Caleb pulls away and takes out his phone. "I'll text you the deets. It's gonna be a great night with you there, I guarantee it!"

Hours later, Garrett finds himself in front of a stranger's door. He reaches out to knock and it opens right away. The woman who opened the door gestures him inside and then turns back to her previous conversation without another word. 

Mumbling a quiet "Thanks," Garrett looks around. There's a good number of people, food and drinks in their hands. Some of them are dancing to music playing in the background. He quickly spots Caleb, who is surrounded by a group of people. Excited at the prospect of new friends, he makes his way over.

With a large grin, Caleb clasps Garrett's shoulder, bringing him onto the circle. "Garrett! You made it!"

"Ya, of course I did."

Before Garrett can fully look around at everyone, a shorter man steps forward with an impish grin. "Garrett, nice to finally meet you, man! Caleb's told me much about you. _Mostly_ good stuff, but I don't judge. Everyone's got baggage, am I right?"

Garrett laughs and grasps the man's hand to shake it. He can tell right away why Caleb likes him. "Glad to hear it. You must be Ricky."

"Yeah. I've seen some of your Vines. Great content, man."

Garrett rubs the back of his neck, unable to wipe the proud grin off his face. "Ya, you could say I'm an internet sensation," he jokes, shrugging flippantly. The group laughs and Garrett's smile widens. He feels right at home.

And then he hears it. _That_ laugh.

Garrett whips around and is suddenly face to face with the stranger he almost stabbed and then offered his bed to. His mouth falls open in shock. All he can muster is a weak, "You."

Andrew looks good. Garrett can't deny it. Though he has a drink in his hand, he isn't flushed and wasted like before. His eyes are sharp, his posture straight, not a hair is out of place.

He looks different to Garrett in yet another way. He still looks deceivingly small and innocent, but Garrett now knows of the cruelty he is capable of. His wide eyes are warm, but could shift to show malice in an instant. His lips are parted, the ones that were so soft and eager.... _No_. The ones that shot out such hurtful words that Garrett couldn't even close his eyes without hearing them.

It takes a moment for Andrew to speak. "Uh...sorry. Have we met?"

Garrett feels his heart drop at those words. "Are you fucking kidding me?" _Does he really think he can pretend he doesn't know what he did?_ "Last weekend?"

"I-I don't know wh-what-" Andrew stutters out, his eyes shifting away. 

Garrett suddenly realizes that there is no longer the buzz of conversations in the air. He follows Andrew's gaze to see everyone staring at them. Embarrassment fills him, mixing with the anger and disbelief and painful remorse already there. He knows he can't be here anymore; he has to end this and leave.

Forcing out enough courage to last just a few more moments, he steps closer to the man; their noses almost touch. Andrew leans away slightly, eyes widening even more, and Garrett can see his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallows nervously. He can also see the genuine confusion in his eyes, but is too upset to realize what it means. "Stay the hell away from me," he hisses out. 

Garrett turns to leave, ignoring Andrew's sharp intake of breath like how _he_ ignored his pleas the week before. He quickens his pace, rapidly apologizing to anyone he bumps into as he tries not to stumble over his own feet.

As he makes it out into the hallway, he begins to run. He somehow finds his way outside of the building, but then trips and falls to the ground. He yells out in pain, blinking back the tears that had blinded him. He sees he's bleeding, but still all he can think about is _him_.

_I hate him_ , his mind begins to chant over and over. He hates hating things, but he can't help but hate how effortlessly this stranger has broken him.


	3. The Sought Out Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes a conversation about the possibility of having sex while drunk, which of course is not consensual. As we all know from chapter 1, nothing of the sort happened. (I won't pull another Unconditionally on you, I promise.) So of course, there's nothing explicit, but please keep this in mind if it may be triggering for you.
> 
> This story also might become darker than originally intended in terms of past physical abuse toward others and oneself. Nothing explicit, just references. I'm still debating this, but just wanted to mention it early to maybe get some input from the readers.
> 
> Once again, this an AU. I know nothing about Andrew's dad.

"Andrew, I don't think you can come to these parties anymore. You always cause a scene."

Andrew focuses on his roommate, who is attempting to give him a reassuring smile. Normally he appreciates Ricky's jokes, but not this time. "It's not me!" he objects loudly, trying to calm his racing heart. He hates confrontation, especially in public, and apparently _especially_ by a person he doesn't even know. "I didn't know Gabbie was gonna break up with me like that! I didn't know this man was gonna...do that! Who is he? Garrett? Who is he?" He looks around wildly, seeing that everyone is still watching him. He knows a panic attack will be creeping up soon if he can't calm down.

Then Caleb steps forward, pointing an accusing finger. "You're him," he says as if he just discovered the secrets of the universe. "The stranger in his bed."

Andrew feels like his eyes are going to pop out of his sockets. "P-f-fp-wh-what?" he sputters out. What was Caleb implying? When did he meet Garrett? And what the hell happened when he did? The first thought that comes to his head makes him feel sick, and there's nothing he can do now as he loses himself.

"Okay, everyone, show's over," Ricky calls out. He places a hand on Andrew's shoulder.

Andrew hardly feels it. The world around him is spinning. He's in a vacuum. He barely hears Caleb declare that he's going to find Garrett. He doesn't feel his own feet moving as he's pushed out of the apartment.

Andrew doesn't know how much time passed before Ricky is finally able to calm him down enough to bring him back to reality. They're sitting on the floor in the hallway, he realizes as he comes to his senses, and while he's still gasping for air, he's okay. "Maybe I should have stayed in Illinois," he mumbles.

Ricky pushes his shoulder gently. "And leave me in this big city alone? No way."

Andrew lets out a dry laugh. "What the fuck just happened?"

Ricky sighs and leans back against the wall. "Honestly, I have no idea. Apparently you've met Caleb's roommate before, though."

"But I haven't! I don't think..."

"Well, he sure thinks you have." Andrew shakes his head, at a loss for words. He plays the scene over in his head, searching for some hint of familiarity. "He said last weekend, didn't he?" Ricky reminds him gently, bringing his attention back to him.

"Last weekend?" Andrew's brow furrows as he considers what happened the week before. "At the party, do you think?"

"No, he didn't come that night."

"Then after? The last thing I remember, though, is Gabbie breaking up with me. Then..."

"Then you ran out completely wasted. You probably did meet him after that. When I found you the next day, you said you didn't know what happened the night before, remember?"

"Oh. Right." Andrew closes his eyes and strains to recall anything past his horrible breakup, but still nothing comes up. His thoughts shift again, this time to what Caleb said. "You know what bothers me most?" he whispers, afraid to even speak the idea aloud.

"Hmm?"

"Why was I in his bed?" Andrew's hand grapples for the rubber band around his wrist and begins to violently pull on it. The stinging pain makes him feel a little better. 

When there is no response, he glances up. He sees Ricky watching him with curious eyes. Andrew feels his stomach sink as he realizes that Ricky's thinking the same thing, but doesn't seem horrified the way he is. "I'm not gay!" he screeches defensively. Ricky doesn't respond, simply pressing his lips together. "I'm not! I would never do anything like that!"

Ricky nods placatingly. "Okay, calm down. I'm not disagreeing with you."

"Do you think something happened? Oh god. Did he do something to me?" Andrew feels like his heart is going to pound out of his chest as he considers the possibilities.

"I don't know," Ricky answers honestly, putting a reassuring hand on Andrew's shoulder. "But let's think about it. Other than being covered in your own vomit, you seemed fine when I found you. I mean, you were missing your shoes and hoodie, but that doesn't automatically mean anything like that happened. And besides, you probably would have felt...it. Like something happened, right? Or, I guess not necessarily if-. You know what, never mind."

Andrew tugs on his hair and groans, shoving away the barraging images of ways he could have done something like _that_ with another man. "I just wish I knew," he whispers, distraught.

"Then find him," Ricky decides. "I'll ask Caleb where they live and you can pay him a visit and ask."

Andrew considers. It's not a bad idea, but the thought of facing Garrett scares him, if he's being completely honest. He pictures Garrett's face, seemingly miles above his own, with a set jaw and narrowed eyes. "He, uh, said to stay away from him."

"True, but I think you have the right to demand answers. Say, 'Hey, I'll leave you alone after this, but I need to know. I don't remember what happened that night. Did we have sex? Because if we did, _you_ fucked up because I was not in the right state of mind needed for that.'"

Having it spelled out so clearly brings tears to the back of Andrew's eyes. He pulls on his rubber band even harder - a coping mechanism to keep from releasing these tears, to keep from being yelled at by his father for not being man enough.

"Stop it," Ricky says gently but firmly. "You can cry, Andrew. You know I don't care. It _is_ a scary possibility. And if it turns out something did happen, I'll be here in whatever way you need, okay?" 

Andrew nods, wiping at his face with one of his sleeves. He can't stop the tears silently rolling down his cheeks now. Ricky places a hand on Andrew's shoulder and leaves it there. Comforted by the touch, Andrew manages to give him a small smile. 

"If it makes you feel better," Ricky continues, "I don't think anything happened. I don't know of course, but..." He pauses to consider his next words. "I would be...surprised if Garrett did do something bad to you."

Andrew draws in a shaky breath. "Really?" he asks hopefully.

"Yeah. Again, I don't know for sure, but let me tell you why I say that. First, like I said, there was no sign of anything happening. At least, nothing violent." Andrew nods in agreement. "Next, _he_ seemed angry at _you_. I don't know what that means exactly, but that seems like a strange reaction if he did something wrong, don't you agree?"

Andrew nods slowly. "Ya, I guess so..." he concedes with a sniff. 

"And my last point, which admittedly might not be a valid one, is that he seems like a good guy. From what Caleb has told me. And again, maybe Caleb's not as good of a person as I think he is, or maybe Garrett's good at hiding it. But Caleb told me that Garrett's the kindest person in the world. And I'm not paraphrasing."

Andrew's brow furrows as he thinks back to his first impression of Garrett. When he came into the circle, he did seem extremely good-natured. His eyes were almost as bright as his smile. Until he looked over and saw him. When he turned his gaze toward Andrew, his eyes darkened. It was a frightening sight. "I don't know..." he said hesitantly.

"I don't know either." Ricky pulls away and shrugs. "Maybe he _is_ terrible. Maybe not. But either way, you need to find out. Because if he _is_ a good guy, and _you_ did something to upset the kindest person in the world, you should want to find that out, too."

"Ya." Andrew wipes once more at his damp cheeks, realizing that the tears had stopped at some point during their conversation. "Thanks, Ricky."

"No problem, man. Come on. Let's go home." Andrew grunts in agreement as Ricky stands and holds a hand out to help him up. "I'm surprised no one came out and saw us on that dirty ground," Ricky laughs.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Andrew giggles and follows his roommate outside. He feels much better having a friend like Ricky on his side.

But in the following hours, Andrew can't stop thinking about Garrett confronting him. He strains to remember the night they met until he gives himself a headache. He tries to convince himself that Garrett looks at least a little familiar, but he can't. He clings to his pillow and prays nothing was stolen from him that night.

The next day, Ricky tells him Caleb and Garrett's apartment number. "You should go sooner rather than later," he advises him as he walks out their door. 

Andrew stalls. He folds his clothes, just to unfold them and hang them in his closet. He washes the dirty mug and spoon in the sink. He rearranges the magnets on their fridge. Eventually, he can't deny that the only way to get answers is to actually talk to Garrett anymore, so he finally goes.

Two buildings over and a flight of stairs later, Andrew finds himself in front of a door. Garrett's door. He can feel his pulse quickening. He considers leaving, but before he can, the door flies open.

Caleb freezes when he sees Andrew. "Wha-?"

"It's, uh, Andrew. Ricky's roommate."

"Yeah, I know. What do you want?"Andrew tries to tell himself Caleb's tone isn't actually as cold as he thinks it is. 

"To, uh, talk to Garrett." Caleb stares at him, and he can't tell what he's thinking. "Um...please?"

Caleb pulls his phone out of his pocket and glances at it. "Shit. Okay, hold on." He steps back into the apartment and yells out, "Garrett! Andrew's here! You can kick him out if you want but I'm running late!"

Andrew hears a muffled, "What?"

Caleb moves back toward the door and out, driving Andrew back. "Okay, go 'head. I gotta run." He hurries down the hallway but quickly turns back. "Hurt him again and I'll burn more than your shoes."

"Wha-?" But Caleb is gone now. Stunned, Andrew remains frozen to the spot, his mind racing. What did Caleb mean? There was only one way to find out.

Andrew slowly moves toward the door, which was left slightly ajar. Taking a deep breath, he reaches out and pushes it open even more. "Hello?" he calls out weakly. He tentatively steps inside. "Hello?"

Suddenly, a door opens and a sword-wielding giant comes out. Yelping, Andrew stumbles backwards.

It's Garrett, he realizes as he takes the tall man in. He has nothing on him except the sword in his hand, pointed directly at him, and a towel around his waist. Andrew's breath catches in his throat as he eyes wander up to his face, noting his glistening skin and dripping hair.

Garrett's expression quickly becomes one of pure exasperation. "What are you doing here?" 

"I-I-I wanted to see you," Andrew stutters out. "And talk to you. About the night th-. When we met, I guess?" Garrett presses his lips together tightly. Andrew continues. "Because I-I don't remember it."

Garrett laughs, though there's no humor in it. "Are you kidding me?" he mutters under his breath.

Feeling helpless, Andrew tries to remember what Ricky told him to say. Ricky would be able to stand up for himself easily; he needed to be more like Ricky. He puffs his chest out in an attempt to assert himself. "I don't! So I need answers. Did we-." He falters. "Did you have sex with me? Because I was drunk and if you forced yourself on me-"

Garrett barks with laughter. "Fine. We'll talk. Sit down." He gestures toward the couch with the tip of the sword. "Let me get decent first and then we'll talk." Without another word, he turns and shuts the bathroom door.

Andrew mutely makes his way to the couch and sits down. He feels numb as he waits.


	4. The Revealing Encounter

Garrett focuses on his breathing as he returns his shower sword back to its rightful place. He knows he needs to get himself together before he faces Andrew again, but no amount of slow inhales and steady exhales will calm his racing heart. Once again, this stranger comes blazing into his life without warning, while now accusing him of doing something horrendous.

Several scenarios of how this conversation could go runs through his head as he removes his towel and does his best to dry off. He puts on his white robe and ties it tightly around him. He wishes he had brought clean clothes in with him instead, but it's not like he knew he would have a visitor waiting for him.

With one more sigh and a shake of his head, Garrett steps out of the bathroom to find Andrew watching him expectantly. In any other situation, the way his eyes raked over him would make him feel good. Now it just makes him feel gross, being the object of desire for this obviously closeted man.

Garrett clears his throat uncomfortably. "Sorry, I can grab actual clothes if this is too distra-"

"No," Andrew shoots out. "It's fine, I mean. I mean, if you want to. I just want to talk to you. I don't care how."

Garrett hesitates. Andrew seems to want to get this conversation out of the way quickly, and he can't help but agree. He moves over to the couch and sits down, making sure there's as much space between them as possible, and ensuring that his robe covers his legs adequately. Still, Andrew's eyes are wandering too much for his liking. He clears his throat again to bring the man's attention back to his face. "Well?" he prompts.

"What?" Andrew shakes his head, as if to get himself to focus.

Garrett has to refrain from rolling his eyes. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Oh." Garrett notes that Andrew begins rolling a rubber band around his wrist between two fingers - a nervous habit, surely. "I, uh, I just want to know what happened that night. Please just tell me the truth."

"I wouldn't lie to you," Garrett retorts, not even attempting to hide how offended he feels at the insinuation.

Andrew's eyes flicker away. "O-okay."

When Andrew doesn't continue, Garrett lets out a silent sigh. "Do you want a play by play?"

"Just a summary is fine," Andrew murmurs.

"You came into my apartment drunk, thinking it was yours, and after I realized I didn't need to use my bedroom sword on you-"

"Bedroom sword?"

"Yeah."

"Is that...different from the one in the bathroom?" Andrew asked, eyes wide.

"Of course it is." Garrett feels the corner of his lips twitch up at the wonder on Andrew's face, but he forces it down.

"Why do you have swords? Plural."

Garrett can't help but laugh. "When you're a little boy growing up in Memphis, you have a lot of weapons."

"Oh." Andrew lets out an amused huff and a bit of the tension in the air seems to melt.

Garrett itches to move and get the swords, to show them off and explain the intricacies of each one. But he doesn't. _Maybe if we were actually friends_ , his mind tells him, half bitter, half sad. "Anyway," he continues, "I offered to let you stay the night. We shared my bed - it was your idea - and then you kissed me."

Andrew lets out a short, panicked laugh. "What?"

"You kissed me." Garrett repeats, staring intently at Andrew and watching the emotions play out on his face. Shock, then disbelief, then anger. It would have been entertaining if it wasn't so personal.

"No I didn't. That can't be true. I didn't do that. You're fucking lying," Andrew mutters, now pulling on his rubber band. The snapping sounds fill the room as both men try to process the situation. 

It is in this moment that Garrett realizes that Andrew had been telling the truth this whole time; he didn't remember. He had no idea that he kissed another man, and the idea horrifies him. "You can choose to believe me or not, but it happened. We didn't have sex, though. You freaked out and ran away."

Andrew shakes his head. "At least that sounds like me," he mumbles under his breath. Garrett can see the wheels turning in his head as he takes the time to think it through. A few seconds later, he looks back up at Garrett again. "So, wait. Say you're not lying-"

"I'm not."

"Then why...are you so upset with me? Because I left? Because I came to my senses and you didn't get to fuck me?" A hint of defiance comes through at the end and Garrett feels a flare of anger. 

"I didn't even want to fuck you!" he explodes. _At least, that wasn't my intention._ "I'm _upset_ because of what you called me before you left!"

"And what did I call you that was _so_ bad?" Andrew demands, now sounding just as riled up as Garrett feels.

"You called me a f*ggot! Like everyone does!" Garrett clenches his fists and turns his head away, ashamed at the crack in his voice that slipped through. _I hate him,_ his mind reminds him. As much as he wants to, Garrett refuses to break down in front of Andrew. Swallowing back his tears, he glances back over and sees Andrew watching him. His lips are parted in shock, his eyes soft with pity. It makes Garrett want to scream and cry at the same time.

"No," Andrew says softly. "I wouldn't. I'm not gay but I'm not-. I would never-"

"And yet you did."

Andrew flinches at his biting tone. "I'm sorry."

Garrett searches Andrew's eyes, looking to see if he can see genuine regret in them to match his sorrowful tone. He...can. "It's-. Thank you."

"I hope you know I didn't mean it. I was drunk."

"I know you were."

Andrew lets out a hopeful chuckle. "You know what they say: alcohol makes you a completely different person. I mean, like, I never would have kissed you if-"

"Some also say," Garrett cuts in, "alcohol gives you the courage to be who you really are. To do and say what you really want to."

Andrew clears his throat and looks away, scratching at the back of his neck. "What are you trying to say?"

Garrett considers for just a second before speaking. He knows this will probably completely chase away the hint of friendliness that occasionally peeked its head out during this interaction, but he told Andrew he wouldn't lie to him. "I'm saying I saw you for who you really are. And I'm seeing you now. You're this...obviously closeted man with internalized homophobia and self-hatred. Someone who will kiss a man when you think you can get away with it, who will ogle a man showing any skin, but god forbid you actually accept who you are on a day to day basis."

Andrew's mouth drops open. He straightens up indignantly and the fire Garrett saw in his eyes before returned, exemplified. " _Excuse me?_ How _dare_ you accuse me of being someone who's-"

"Who's what?" Garrett eggs on furiously. "Disgusting? Vile? Unnatural? Predatory? What word are you about to use to describe _me_? Come on, I've heard them all."

Though Garrett hardly moves forward, Andrew quickly cowers back into the couch. His expression morphs, once again, to show pity. Garrett lets out a frustrated roar and Andrew looks away. "I'm sorry," he says again, his voice shaking. "I'm sorry you've had such a bad time growing up because you're gay. But I'm not, and I would appreciate it if you didn't try to push that on me."

"I'm not-" Garrett stops himself and lets out an exasperated breath. _There's no getting through to this dumbass._ "Whatever. Stay in denial; I don't care. You got your answers. Now I think it's time you left."

His gaze still averted, Andrew nods. "Ya," he agrees softly.

Garrett watches him stand and awkwardly head toward the door. _He doesn't deserve being walked out._ Before Andrew can turn the handle, though, Garrett can't stop his tongue from lashing out one last time: "And this time, actually leave me the fuck alone."

"With pleasure." Without a second glance, Andrew leaves. The slam of the door rings in Garrett's ears for the rest of the night.


	5. The Planned Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to update this. The next few chapters hopefully won't take as long. I hope you still enjoy!

Life carries on like normal, but nothing feels normal to Andrew anymore. He does what he can to forget Garrett, but no matter how many distractions he turns to, he can't seem to escape the memories. The cold looks, interspersed with the occasional amused or even friendly ones, the biting tones alternating with cracks of pain, the drops of water rolling down bare skin...

Andrew hates these thoughts more than anything. He shakes them away, yells them away, stings them away with his faithful rubber band. He doesn't know what about the situation makes him feel worse: the fact that he apparently willingly kissed a man, or the fact that he could have been so cruel after the fact. Because no matter how angry he is at Garrett for making him question himself, he can't help but regret hurting the man.

The only thing that gives Andrew any sense of peace is the fact that he'll never have to see Garrett again. But even that is soured with the unwelcome images that often pop into his head, usually at night and right before he climaxes while watching porn. (Straight porn, of course. Because he's straight, and no dripping, almost naked man is going to change that.) 

When these transgressions occur, all Andrew can do is force himself to fall asleep, uncomfortable and burning with shame. He's ashamed not only of these thoughts, but of the situations he does and doesn't remember and, most of all, of ever thinking for even a _second_ that Garrett might be right about him. Because why else would he not be able to get the damn man out of his fucking mind?

All of these emotions swell inside of him every minute of every day, rendering him incapable of feeling anything else. He's too stubborn and, honestly, too embarrassed to tell any of this to anyone, to try to relieve this pressure. He couldn't even bring himself to recount his last conversation with Garrett to Ricky. "We talked things through. Nothing important happened. There's no reason for me to talk to him again." That was all he said. 

Ricky was obviously concerned, but he didn't push it. Andrew was grateful for him that night, and in the following weeks when Garrett's name was never mentioned out loud, until eventually it all became too much. He had to face that way or another, he was going to explode with the truth. 

About a month and a half after that fateful night, after accidentally jerking off to Garrett one too many times, Andrew decides to put his pants back on and stalk out of his room to confront his roommate. Said roommate is currently video chatting with his girlfriend, but that doesn't stop Andrew. "Ricky!" he blurts out. "I can't take it anymore!"

Ricky stares at him incredulously for a moment before looking back to his girlfriend with a sigh. "Sorry, Jess. I'll call you back after."

Andrew hears a giggle come from the phone. "No problem, baby. I love you." 

"Love you, too." Ricky hangs up, shaking his head disbelievingly. "What's up?"

Andrew shakes away the pain witnessing that exchange caused - _Would he ever find love like that?_ \- and sits down. "I-." He stops, realizing he doesn't even know how to convey everything he wants to. "I kissed him."

Ricky raises an eyebrow, interest crossing his face. "Oh?"

"Garrett," Andrew clarifies unnecessarily. "Not the other night. But the other _other_ night. When I was drunk. Apparently I kissed him."

"Okay. And how does that make you feel?"

"It's so irritating!" Andrew explodes. "I can't get him out of my mind and-and what he said to me. You know what he said to me? He said I was gay!"

Ricky's brow furrows. "Are you sure?"

"A hundred percent! God. It's been weeks, Ricky. Why can't I stop thinking about it? Why can't I just laugh it off as a misunderstanding and pretend it never happened?"

"Maybe you shouldn't want to forget it," Ricky suggests with a light shrug.

Andrew chortles in frustration. "Oh, no no no. I definitely want to forget it." Ricky presses his lips together, choosing not to respond. Andrew carries on, not noticing. "I keep thinking about it! Not the kiss. I-I don't remember that. But that fact that I apparently did it? Or maybe he lied! Do you think he lied to me?" Andrew asks desperately, clinging to Ricky's arms.

Ricky snorts with laughter and detaches himself from Andrew's claws. "Do _you_ think he lied to you?"

Andrew wants so desperately to say yes. "No."

"Then he probably didn't."

"Fuck!" Andrew pulls at his hair in distress.

"Andrew, it's okay. I mean, it would have been better not drunk, but kissing another guy-"

"It never would have happened not drunk!" Andrew exclaims indignantly. "Because I'm not gay!"

"Okay." Ricky looks away, but not before Andrew sees him...rolling his eyes?

Andrew gasps, offended. "Do you think I'm gay?" he demands.

Ricky hesitates, but then rushes out a response before Andrew can accuse him of anything else. "No! No. Listen. Don't get mad at me, but we've known each other since we were kids, and, I'm not gonna lie, there _have_ been times when I questioned...if you were actually straight."

"What?" Andrew screeches. How could he be _betrayed_ by his best friend like this?

"It's not a bad thing!" Ricky exclaims, holding his hands up defensively. "Someone being gay or bi or, you know, whatever else isn't a bad thing!"

"I know that!" Andrew insists. Of course he knows that.

"Then why is it so bad if you're the one who's bi then?" Ricky challenges.

Andrew stutters out a non-existent answer. He gets to his feet and begins to pace, reaching for his rubber band. "Fuck this," he mumbles to himself. "Fuck Garrett. If I had never met him, none of this would be happening."

"I don't think the problem is Garrett," Ricky shoots out, sounding almost irritated.

Andrew glances over at Ricky. "Why are you taking his side?" he all but yells. " _I'm_ your friend!"

"He's my friend, too," Ricky admits quietly. 

Andrew scoffs, angry but also hurt; his roommate had gotten close to Garrett and he had no idea? 

"And I'm not 'taking his side'," Ricky continues. "I think he's the one who brought up this...existential crisis you're having, sure. But it could have been anyone. It's _your_ problem. You need to figure yourself out to fix it. You can't blame him or me or anyone else on this."

Andrew wants to mutter a, "Can too," but he knows that will just make Ricky retort something else that makes sense. He throws his hands up and lets out a helpless huff. "Great. Thanks a lot." He turns back toward his door.

"I'll help you talk it through if you want, but I'm not gonna coddle you," Ricky calls out after him. 

Andrew doesn't respond, not even after he hears Ricky muttering probably an insult under his breath. A moment later, the familiar ringing of a video call fills the room. He blocks out the voices as his anger about the whole situation rises. He's ready to just scream into his pillow until he's unconscious. 

But he hesitates by his doorframe. His curiosity is too much for his own good, but he has to know. "Um...does he talk about me?" he asks softly.

Ricky looks up, understanding what Andrew means right away. "Hold on, babe," he murmurs to Jess. "Not...really. When I mention you, he doesn't say much, but I can tell he's a little interested."

Andrew nods silently and leaves. There's a strange tightness in his chest and he wonders what answer Ricky could have given him that would have prevented it. 

Things with Ricky become a little tense after this, and Andrew regrets being so harsh; every time they pass each other without a word, it just adds to the giant pile of bullshit that's weighing on Andrew's mind. But he can't help but feel like he didn't actually do anything wrong. 

About another week passes before Ricky finally plops down next to him on their couch, a determined look on his face. He holds a hand out. "No hard feelings?"

Andrew sighs. There were plenty, but he misses his best friend too much. "No hard feelings," he concedes, shaking Ricky's hand.

"Hard conversations?" Ricky prompts, tightening his grip.

Andrew considers. A small voice tells him to take him up on his offer, but he's still too stubborn. "No hard conversations." He pulls his hand away.

Ricky sighs, shaking his head. "Fine," he agrees. "But I'm always here if you change your mind."

Andrew smiles at him. "Thanks, Ricky." 

"No problem, man. I missed ya. Hope that's not too gay for you," Ricky teases, poking Andrew's side.

Andrew giggles and pulls away. "I missed you too," he says, feeling happy for the first time in weeks.

"What've you been up to? Haven't talked to you in forever, man."

Andrew laughs again, but there's less joy in it. "Okay. Still looking for a job. And I talked to my parents the other day. Broke the news about Gabbie. My dad asked when I'd find a good girl and finally settle down." Andrew was no longer smiling now, finding himself involuntarily pulling on his rubber band.

Ricky gives him a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, man. That sucks."

"Ya," Andrew sighs out. "But it's whatever. I'll find a job and a girlfriend eventually, right?"

Ricky nods, placing a hand on Andrew's shoulder supportively. "Definitely. You just gotta keep applying to places, and you'll fall in love with someone when the time is right."

Andrew notices the lack of gendered language, but chooses not to react to it. "Thanks," he mumbles. "Anyway, what's been up with you?"

"Not too much. Just been seeing Jess a lot more now that she's moved closer. Oh, and the band I started with Caleb is doing great! We think we're ready to try to find some gigs. And actually, I wanted to invite you to a little get together we're having. To see if we are ready."

"Oh, cool! Definitely. When?"

"Tomorrow."

Andrew squints at Ricky. "Is this why you wanted to make up with me?"

Ricky nods. "Duh."

Andrew laughs. "Fair enough. Of course I'll go." He feels lighter once again, excited for this great opportunity to be distracted from everything. 

The next evening, Andrew finds himself in front of a house. It's small, but it is still a house. He briefly wonders if one of Ricky's bandmates is rich. He stops at the end of the driveway and texts Ricky, feeling too awkward to walk up to the garage alone. A moment later, his roommate appears and drags him inside. "Glad you could make it!"

"Ya, of c-" His words die on his lips as he catches sight of Garrett. It's like his gaze was automatically drawn to the tall man currently talking to Caleb and another shorter man. Andrew feels his mouth dry as, without moving a muscle, Garrett glances over at him through now narrowed eyes. "Ricky, what the hell?" he mumbles. He feels his pulse increasing and, in his confusion, he presses a hand to his chest. No one had ever made his heart race like this before.

Garrett's eyes follow Andrew's hand and then...roll upward. Did Garrett just roll his eyes at him? Offended, Andrew tears his hand away and turns fully toward Ricky, away from Garrett's judgemental stare. "What is he doing here?" he demands.

"He's Caleb's roommate!" Ricky exclaims.

A second later, Andrew hears Caleb's voice rise up: "He's Ricky's roommate!"

Andrew feels anger begin to form. _Did he really just ask why I'm here, when I have a right to be here?_ But then it dissipates as he realizes that Garrett also has a right to be here.

"Andrew, be reasonable," Ricky tells him sternly. "I know you don't care for the guy, but can you be civil enough to not make a scene tonight?"

"Ya, ya," Andrew grumbles. He glances back over to see Caleb approaching, Garrett in tow. He's practically dragging his feet behind him; he looks as reluctant to be there as Andrew feels.

"Hey Andrew," Caleb calls out cheerfully.

Andrew blinks up at him in confusion, remembering their last exchange. "Uh, hi."

"Look, the four of us together!" Ricky cheers out. Andrew narrows his eyes at him, wondering why he is suddenly sounding so chipper. "What are the chances of that? Maybe we'll all enjoy each other's company and this could become a common occurrence or something." 

"I agree!" Caleb declares, sticking a finger in the air decisively. "But alas, Ricky and I must get ready with the band. You two should discuss and get back to us." Without waiting for a response, Caleb grabs Ricky's arm and they run away, giggling like a bunch of damn schoolgirls.

Andrew lets out a heavy sigh, not even attempting to hide his annoyance. "They planned this, didn't they?"

Garrett snorts and crosses his arms. "Oh, they definitely planned this."

"I guarantee it was Ricky's idea. He's probably such a bad influence on Caleb."

"Nah, Caleb was already like this. I'm sure he's pulling Ricky into some crazy shit, this included."

Sharing an amused look, Andrew and Garrett let a surprisingly comfortable silence fall over them. "They're good for each other," Andrew finally comments.

"Ya." Garrett opens his mouth as if to say more, but he doesn't. Andrew turns fully toward him waiting for him to sort out his thoughts. "I...know Caleb just wants the best for me. And I'm sure the same goes for you and Ricky." Andrew nods in agreement. "I guess we _should_ try to get along for their sakes."

Andrew nods tentatively. "Ya, I guess so. They want us all to be friends, I get it. And they've become so close, it must be frustrating that I'm...preventing it."

Garrett cocks his head. "What do you mean?"

"I know you already hang out with Ricky and Caleb. I'm the odd one out." He doesn't mean for it to sound so bitter.

Surprise crosses Garrett's face. "Oh." His mouth parts, but again he doesn't seem to know what else to say.

"It's fine. I just haven't really had the chance to hang out with Caleb," Andrew quickly continues, hoping it doesn't sound like an excuse. "And, uh, I think I'm just a little surprised that you wanted to get to know Ricky in the first place. You know, since we're roommates..."

Garrett's mouth falls into a grin - his natural state, Andrew thinks. "I don't make judgements on people based on others. Ricky's a cool guy and I just love making new friends."

There's a brief moment of silence and Andrew wonders if it feels as awkward to Garrett as it does to him. _We could have been friends if only-._ Surely they're both thinking it. "C-cool," he finally forces himself to stutter out. Garrett doesn't respond, so Andrew realizes he should redirect the conversation back. "Um, anyway. So we're just gonna...start over?"

"Ya, we can try."

"Just forget everything that happened up to this point?"

"Sure. I'll forget that you kissed me and what you called me."

Andrew flinches visibly, which he hates as much as being called out so bluntly. He hopes no one heard. "And, uh, I'll forget that you think I'm gay. When I'm not," he quickly adds, quietly. He pushes away how dumb it sounds that _that_ is what upset him most about the whole situation.

Andrew can actually see Garrett reconsider, but he ends up just letting out an exasperated sigh. "Deal," he finally grumbles, holding a hand out.

"Oh, we're gonna shake on it?" Andrew mumbles, mostly to himself. He takes Garrett's hand and suddenly can only think about how large and firm it is. 

Then his hand is holding air, and he realizes Garrett had pumped his hand up and down briefly before pulling away. Andrew's honestly glad he did that, because apparently if it was left up to him, they probably would have just awkwardly held hands. He quickly shoves his hands in his pockets and follows Garrett to find seating, wondering why he was rendered immobile in that moment.


	6. The Redo Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took so long! I have a better idea of where this story is going all the way to the end, so hopefully (for real this time) the next update won't be so far away!

Garrett hadn't truly been nervous in years, but he can't help but feel nerves start to creep up on him as he leads Andrew to two seats in the front. When he woke up this morning, he had no idea he would be trying to befriend the man that hated his guts, and who he didn't care for much either. And to make matters worse, he didn't expect this same man to still freeze up when they saw each other again, obviously fighting back whatever attraction he had for him.

"Have you, uh, heard them play together yet?" Andrew asks as they settle in.

Garrett glances over at him to see him playing with one of the rubber bands apparently permanently attached to his wrists. He half expected the man to not say anything to him, not try to engage in small talk. But he has to admit that not talking isn't conducive to becoming friends. Which is what they were trying to do, right?

"Since you've...been around them more, I mean," Andrew continues, obviously attempting to fill the empty space still between them.

Garrett shakes his head, trying to get out of his head and stop overthinking. "Um, a little bit. Not with the whole band or anything."

Andrew nods and looks away. "Cool."

"Ya." Garrett sucks on his teeth and looks around to the other people in the crowd, recognizing almost all of them. He wishes briefly that he is with anyone else. He then looks to the "stage" hopefully, but sees the band is still setting up. 

Caleb pauses what he's doing, as if sensing Garrett's gaze, and looks up. His face lights up when he sees him and Andrew sitting together and flashes him a thumbs up.

Garrett sighs. _Do it for Caleb._ He turns back to Andrew, who is still strangely obsessed with his rubber bands. "So...are you big on music?"

"Ya, definitely." Andrew is finally looking at him again. "I'll listen to pretty much anything as long as there's something in it - just one small thing - that makes it worth listening to. If that makes sense."

Garrett nodded slowly. "Ya, I get it." He didn't actually - _how vague can you be?_ "For me, I love music so, so much. I listen to it all the time. There's just something about how easy you can be transported with the right sounds, the right tones, the right chords, the right words sung so beautifully it makes you want to cry. It can change your mood so drastically, or deepen what you're already feeling. It's such a powerful tool it makes me want to scream." Garrett feels a wave of emotion, a dilution of how the perfect song playing at the perfect time makes him feel, and his mouth splits into a grin. It falters as he once again sees Andrew staring at him, looking totally enamored. _He really needs to work on not being so obvious if he's going around pretending to be straight._

As if reading Garrett's thoughts, Andrew shakes his head and looks away. "It's not often I see someone get so passionate about something," he says quietly.

Garrett considers if that's just an excuse, but settles on deciding it's a compliment. "Ya, I have a lot of crazy obsessions. It usually either turns people off of me or-" Garrett stops, the direct opposite of his words bouncing around his head. 

"I get it," Andrew quickly cuts in, maybe thinking the same thing. "Like I, uh-" He pauses, his cheeks starting to turn red.

Curious, Garrett raises an eyebrow. "Do tell."

Andrew takes his lower lip in between his teeth as he considers. Garrett tries not to think about how attractive it makes him look. 

"Um," Andrew begins again, bringing his attention back up to his eyes. "I have a stuffed animal collection."

Garrett can't help but laugh and Andrew flushes, his brow furrowing. "No, I think that's great!" Garrett quickly explains, trying to reassure the man. "I'm laughing because I have a knick-knack collection. Like, and figurines and stuff."

"Oh." Andrew wets his lips before smiling - the first genuine smile Garrett has seen since their first confrontation. "That's cool." 

Once again, Garrett's thoughts fall on Andrew's mouth. He vaguely remembers how it tasted that night, despite his attempts to push that detail out of his mind.

Suddenly, there's feedback in one of the mics on the stage and everyone collectively winces. Once it settles down, Ricky grabs it. "Alright, shut up everybody. We're about to start!"

Caleb lets out an excited, "Whoo!" next to him, encouraging everyone in the audience to cheer as well.

"Hit it, fellas!" Ricky orders grandly.

The rest of the band begins beating on and strumming their instruments, the sound reverberating in the small garage. It doesn't take long for Ricky and Caleb's calming vocals to begin and intertwine in the air, bringing everything together beautifully.

Garrett nods along, his hand involuntarily patting his knee in time to the beat. He lets himself be swept away by the music, as he often did. But a part of his brain won't let him completely, keeping him acutely aware of who is sitting next to him.

He glances over to Andrew occasionally, even after he sees the redhead focused completely on the band and not him at all. But he can't stop checking on him, and with every peek, he notices more and more movement from the man. It's restrained, like he wants to dance if only whatever was preventing him would let him. Garrett feels a sense of curiosity about it, but he feels a stronger sense of resentment for his inability to fully appreciate his friends' music. He knows it should be directed more at himself.

An hour or so later, the concert is done. The garage fills with cheering as the band steps off of the stage, breathing heavily. Ricky reaches out for Jess while Caleb approaches Garrett and Andrew, who are now standing.

"Caleb, that was awesome!" Garrett calls out.

Caleb grins and wipes the sweat off his brow with his sleeve. "Thanks man!"

"Ya, it was really good," Andrew adds. "I was really feeling the last song you did."

Caleb pats Andrew's shoulder gratefully. "Thanks! That one's my favorite, too."

Ricky saunters up to the group, an arm around Jess' waist. "So what did you think, boys? Are we ready to face the world?"

"It was amazing, Ricky!" Andrew says excitedly, comfortable enough to express himself now with his roommate here. "I think you guys are more than ready."

"Told you, baby," Jess murmurs with a kiss to Ricky's cheek.

Garrett nods in agreement, letting his wide grin speak for him. He hopes his eyes don't reveal the pang of loneliness that struck his heart seeing his friends in love. _Now's not the time to think about how you'll be alone forever._

"I'm glad to hear it, guys. Thank you so much for coming. Now, what about dinner after Caleb and I finish up here? The five of us."

Ricky's hopeful eyes flicker between Garrett and Andrew and it hits Garrett once more that he really does need to make things work for the sake of the whole group. "Sounds good!" he says cheerfully.

The relief he sees on Ricky and Caleb's faces makes him feel guilty. He resolves to make things work with Andrew, no matter what. He has to.

Half an hour later, Garrett is in a Mexican restaurant with Andrew and Jess. Ricky and Caleb's plan to have him get a table with just Andrew was foiled thankfully by the angel that Jess is, who decided she was starving and would come too. So for the next however many minutes it takes Ricky and Caleb to finally arrive, the three of them just fill up on chips and salsa, with Jess steering the conversation with one man, and then the other. Despite ending up sitting next to each other, Garrett doesn't feel the need to talk to Andrew, and apparently neither does Andrew.

Luckily the conversation flourishes when the others finally arrive and orders are placed. It's a collective back and forth, with no need for Garrett to speak directly to Andrew. Everyone seems content with this, and soon people begin taking their last bites.

"I'm, uh, not gonna finish this," Andrew cuts in quietly when there's a lull in the conversation. "Someone else can have it if they want." He pushes away his plate, which still contains one and a half tacos.

Garrett chews on his lip. He can never say no to free food. He sees the others aren't moving to take it, so he tentatively reaches out to touch the plate. He waits for Andrew to look over at him and give a small nod. With a grateful smile, he pulls the plate in front of him and eats the whole taco. He leaves the half of one, though he wouldn't have if it had come from anyone else at the table.

Walking out of the restaurant, full and content, Garrett is startled when Andrew touches his arm. "Should we exchange numbers?" he asks meekly.

"What?" 

"In case we ever-. I dunno. I just thought it might be easier than going through Ricky or Caleb. If-if the group-. I dunno." Andrew sticks his hands in his pockets and looks away.

Garrett watches Andrew, seeing his shifting eyes and slightly furrowed brow. He considers what must be running through Andrew's head, just for a moment. _He actually wants to make this work._

"Ya, okay. That's a smart idea." He pulls out his phone and holds it out.

Looking almost shocked, but smiling, Andrew tentatively takes Garrett's phone and quickly puts his number. "You can, uh, just text me. Then I'll have your number too."

Garrett nods before turning to the others, who are silently watching them. They all nearly jump out of their skin and Ricky and Jess quickly turn toward each other. Refraining from rolling his eyes at their lack of subtlety, Garrett walks up to Caleb. "Heading back?"

"Yeah, man." After saying their goodbyes, Caleb heads toward Garrett's car. Garrett follows close behind, and Caleb slings an arm over his shoulder. "Thanks, Garrett."

Garrett grins up at his roommate. "Of course! You know I'll always support your music."

"No, not that. I mean, that too. But thanks for trying with Andrew."

"Oh." Garrett fishes out his keys to unlock his car, kind of hoping to finish this conversation quickly.

"I know it might be hard at first. But from what I know, from what Ricky's told me, you guys have a lot in common."

"You mean like how we're both into guys?" Garrett quips out, only half meaning to.

Caleb covers his mouth with his hand, but it does nothing to stop his cackles. "Come on Garrett," he wheezes. "Let the poor man figure it out himself. If you hang out with him more, I'm sure he will. Without you even saying a word about it."

Garrett shakes his head and slides into the driver's seat. He tells himself he has no idea what Caleb's going on about.

"You know it's true," Caleb continues as he enters the car as well.

"What-?" Garrett clears his throat and curses his high voice for giving him away. "What do you mean?"

"I mean every time I looked at you guys while on that stage, he was looking at you." Caleb raises an eyebrow pointedly.

Garrett tries to remember. "No. No, that's not true. I didn't see him-"

"Just because you didn't see it, doesn't mean it didn't happen," Caleb cut in almost gleefully. "Now let's go home. I'm beat."

Biting back a response he hasn't fully thought out yet, Garrett turns his car on and drives out of the parking lot. 

In the following days, Garrett stops trying to push away any thoughts about Andrew. He recalls the positive ones - Andrew's smile after learning about his collection, his kind eyes when granting him his leftovers, how pleased he looked when Garrett didn't shoot down his idea in the parking lot - and he tucks them into his mind. He lets the negative ones enter his brain - his cruel words, the anger on his face, even the pity in his eyes - and he reminds himself that he'll never hear or see that side of Andrew again.

He doesn't see Andrew in the following days, but not seeing people is nothing new during the week. Everyone's working, himself included, so he really looks forward to socializing properly during the weekends.

Saturday comes around and Garrett is quickly disappointed to learn that Caleb already has plans with a girl he's been talking to. He's happy for him of course, but still sad they wouldn't be watching a movie together like planned. 

"Another time, yeah?" Caleb suggests, already halfway out the door. 

And ever a good friend, Garrett smiles and nods, wishing him well. When Caleb leaves, Garrett sits on his couch and decides to try messaging a few other people. He doesn't mind watching a movie alone, of course, but he always prefers being in the company of friends. 

Ricky's busy with Jess. Chris and Shan are also having a date night. Matt is sick and is being taken care of by his girlfriend. Colleen's out of town with her boyfriend.

And Garrett's alone. Like always.

Feeling dejected and desperate, he scrolls through his contacts to see who else he can ask. He finger hovers over a name: Andrew Siwicki. _Is that his last name?_ He scrolls up and down once more to find literally anyone else to ask, but ends up coming back to it.

He begrudgingly clicks on the name, realizing he never actually texted Andrew like he was supposed to. He sends an obligatory first text: **hey this is garrett. sorry I forgot to text you earlier**

He gives it a solid five seconds before sending the next: **do you like scary movies?**


	7. The Astonishing Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an AU obviously so obviously only sweeties allowed so obviously Garrett would be friends with a lesbian named Shannon and not a trashcan :)

If Andrew tells you that he hasn't thought about Garrett in the past week, he would be lying. He might try to say he doesn't look at his phone every morning in case there's a text, but he knows that's not true. He can't convince anyone - himself included- that he doesn't think the absence of a message has to do with Garrett wanting absolutely nothing to do with him. 

So when a text finally comes a week later, he is surprised and, admittedly, a little hopeful. _Maybe he doesn't hate me after all._

When Andrew sees the question on his screen, he doesn't know what to think. **do you like scary movies?** He can't help but feel like it's a trick somehow. That if he says no, Garrett will think he's just a big scaredy-cat. Not that he isn't sometimes, but still...

After dwelling on it for a few minutes, running through various responses and how Garrett might receive them, Andrew finally settles on: **Why are you asking?**

Too many minutes pass and Andrew begins to panic. _I should have just said yes._ But no, his phone buzzes and it's Garrett again. **there's a new movie that I want to watch with someone. and I thought it might be a good way to get to know each other better**

Andrew scrutinizes the wording, considering how truthful it is. Though he ultimately decides there's a good chance Garrett might mean it, he subconsciously reverts to a tactic formed as a kid, when he was always the unknowing butt of a joke: not giving a direct answer. **Oh. Cool.** He grimaces as he hits Send.

A few seconds later, Garrett sends a response. **ya. you can come over whenever and we can watch it**

Then right away: **if you want**

Andrew's first instinct is to politely decline, but he changes his mind after he takes a moment to think about it. He had been waiting for a text, and now here it is with an offer to hang out. It would be stupid to refuse, especially when this could lead to them becoming friends. And that's what they were trying to do, right?

So with a quick response - **Sure. I'll be over in a few minutes.** \- Andrew begins to get ready. He changes into clean clothes and freshens up in the bathroom. He checks his hair in the mirror before realizing what he's doing and stopping. He doesn't know why he thought it mattered; it's not like he's trying to impress a girl or something. 

He quickly leaves the bathroom and pauses by the kitchen. Should he bring some food? You can't watch a movie properly without snacks. It could be like a peace offering. _Or maybe it'll just be another thing that makes him think I'm a weirdo._

Deciding he'd rather starve than be embarrassed, Andrew makes his way to Garrett's place empty-handed. It doesn't take long for him to reach the right door and then proceed to hesitate. Taking a deep breath, he tells himself that he was welcome there. That Garrett wouldn't have reached out if he wasn't.

The door is opened almost immediately after Andrew knocks. Awkwardly exchanging nods with the taller man, he enters and, upon hearing the click of the door shutting, feels trapped. His feet suddenly itch to turn around, his hands to throw the door back open, and escape. But he knows doing so would confirm what Garrett already thinks about him: that he's a coward.

"You can sit," Garrett says nonchalantly as he makes his way to the kitchen. "So you big on movies?" 

Andrew complies, reaching for his rubber band. "Um, ya, kinda. I-I watch them on occasion. Though, uh, sometimes I do fall asleep during, like if I'm really tired already. Not that-" A small giggle cuts him off, but there's surprisingly no judgement in it. He looks over to Garrett, relieved to see kindness in his eyes. 

"That's okay. So do you want me to wake you up when I notice, or wait until it's over?"

Andrew's cheeks begin burning. "N-no, I-I-I won't fall asleep," he stumbles out. "I didn't-. I don't know why I even said that-" 

Again, Garrett laughs, but in such a way that doesn't trigger Andrew's anxiety. It actually almost does the opposite, making him feel a bit more relaxed. 

"Anyway, what's your favorite movie?"

Andrew flushes. "Um-" He pulls on his rubber band and debates being honest. "I dunno," he ends up spitting out.

Garrett looks at him curiously and Andrew knows that he knows he's lying. "Okay. What about your favorite movie snack?" he asks, pulling things out of different cabinets.

"Oh, that's easy." Andrew smooths his rubber band back down against his wrist. "It's gotta be buttered popcorn."

"Ah, sorry. No popcorn here. I do have different kinds of chips you can choose from, though, as well as about half a pack of cookies left, if that'll do." Garrett moves to the couch, arms full of said snacks.

"Oh. Y-yeah, that's good. Thanks." Andrew can't help but return the smile Garrett gives him as any remaining tension in his body seems to disappear. 

Garrett settles down next to him - though as far away as possible, Andrew notices. He sets up the movie on his TV and speaks a word Andrew had never heard before. Whatever it was, it seems to trigger the lights, which change into a deep purple. Andrew's eyes widen with surprise, but he keeps quiet. Then, with a confirmation that he is ready, Garrett hits play.

As the first scene begins to play out, Andrew silently wishes he could actually fall asleep during scary movies. But no such luck - if he can barely sleep after the fact, of course he can't during. So with every spike of music and visual jumpscare, he settles on digging his nails into his palms to keep from visibly flinching. When he tries to look away from the screen as subtly as possible, he finds himself watching Garrett, who appears to be too enthralled in the movie to notice. 

Andrew doesn't realize until the end of the movie, when Garrett finally looks over at him, that he had chosen to focus on the permanent smile on this man's lips, confused but calmed by the sight, the majority of the movie. With a jerk at being caught, Andrew sputters out, "Good movie."

With a knowing smirk, Garrett stretches his arms over his head and nods. "Ya, definitely. What was your favorite part?"

"The...end. With the, uh..." Garrett raises an eyebrow and Andrew lets out a huff, acknowledging that he was caught in a lie. "Sorry. Not the best with scary movies," he mumbles, looking down at his knees.

Garrett laughs, and Andrew notices for the third time that night that it's not mean-spirited like he would have assumed. "Oh! Why did you agree to watch it, then?"

"I dunno. We just...need to be friends. For-for the others' sake, at least. I thought if I told you, you wouldn't want to hang out tonight." As embarrassed tears begin to sting the back of his eyes, Andrew can't help but feel like an idiot. _Yikes yikes yikes. I gotta get out of here._

"I'm sorry." The sincerity of the words hits Andrew like a ton of bricks. "We could have watched something else if I had known."

Andrew drags his eyes back to Garrett's and he sees genuine remorse in them. "O-oh," he stutters. "Don't worry. It's not your fault. I-I'm just not too used to scary movies is all. It's not a big deal."

"Okay." Garrett doesn't tear his gaze away, intimidating him with his kindness.

Never the best at eye contact, Andrew looks away and clears his throat. "But you liked it, huh? That's good."

"Ya, I did! Thanks for watching it with me, even if you wouldn't have otherwise."

Andrew simply nods, unsure of what to do next as a silence falls over them. Should he thank Garrett for the invitation and leave? Should he try to engage in small talk? Were they friends yet?

"Why don't we watch something more lighthearted?" Garrett suggests then. "So you don't have to walk back right after getting the chills."

Andrew lets out a small chuckle at the wording. "Oh. Uh, sure."

"I mean, unless you have other plans or just don't want to. Do you work on the weekends?"

"Oh, no. I'm actually..." Andrew rubs the back of his neck, warming with embarrassment. _What's the best way to say I'm not a productive member of society?_ "Uh, looking for another job at the moment."

"Oh," Garrett says, no hint of judgment or surprise in his voice. "I have a few connections here. What are you interested in?"

Andrew stares at the man in front of him in shock. _He hated me just a week ago, and now he's trying to help me out?_ But then Andrew remembers then what Ricky had told him before: _**the kindest person in the world.**_ "Uh." What _was_ he interested in? "I mean, I'm open to anything."

Garrett's nose wrinkles slightly. "Okay, but what's something you _want_ to do? Anything in the world, just name it."

Andrew figures he might as well be honest. "Media. Slash entertainment." He tries not to react to Garrett's eyes lighting up with excitement. "Any kind, really. Audio, video. But, uh, behind the scenes. I'm not-. I wouldn't be good on camera or anything."

"So like, video editing maybe?" Garrett asks eagerly.

"Ya, that would be-"

"How fortunate!" Garrett exclaims, clasping his hands together. "I actually have a friend who does Youtube and she's looking for an editor. She tells me it'll be the next big thing after Vine dies. Like that'll ever happen."

Andrew joins in on Garrett's easy laughter, feeling hope begin to stir in his chest. "That-that would be great, man."

"Cool. I'll just send Shannon your number, if that's alright with you, and she-"

"You don't even know if I'm any good," Andrew can't help but say.

Garrett's brow furrows, as if he's confused that he didn't think to ask. But the wrinkles smooth out a moment later and he shrugs. "I can't speak for her, so I'll let her decide if you're what she's looking for. Though, I should probably tell you that she has a girlfriend. If that's a problem-"

"Of course not," Andrew rushes out. 

He can tell Garrett wants to say something but is biting his tongue. "Alright," he finally says. "Then you'll probably hear from her tomorrow."

Andrew clears his throat and looks away, feeling fortunate but ashamed that Garrett had reason - an admittedly valid one at that - to think he would be so discriminatory. "Cool. Thanks." 

There's another brief moment of silence then, lasting long enough to eventually convince Andrew to try to break it. He sighs. "Sorry. I promise I'm not always this awkward. I mean, I am, but it should get better as we...get to know each other better."

Garrett nods. "I get it. Honestly, same for me. Soon I'll be talking your ear off and you'll regret ever agreeing to be my friend." The friendly joking tone made Andrew's mouth curve up. "So, another movie then?"

Brought back to how this conversation started, Andrew nods. He notes that, while still on edge regarding how he's presenting himself, he's already starting to feel comfortable in this space. "Sounds good." 

The next day, Andrew receives a call from Shannon. Ecstatic, he quickly sets up an interview and gathers his limited previous work together, practicing selling himself as a good employee and editor up until the last minute.

And by the end of the week, he sends Garrett his fourth thank you text: **I got the job! Thank you so much!!!**

The response is almost immediate: **that's great! :-D we should celebrate**

Before Andrew can respond, there's another text: **with ricky and caleb. maybe we can all get dinner tomorrow**

**Ya, that sounds good :)** Andrew waits for a follow-up, but none seem to come. With a frown, he checks the time and sees he has several more hours to do something with before he can feel good about turning in for the night. Knowing he won't be doing anything productive stuck in his apartment, and allowing himself this free time before he begins his new job, he decides maybe he should make the first move this time.

Shifting on his bed to try to embody a cool guy without social anxiety, he sends another message: **Watching anything tonight?**

About a minute passes before he gets a response: **ya, actually! I'm watching whatever you want**

Then: **I have popcorn**

Andrew feels a mixture of surprise and excitement. **Popcorn's my favorite.**

Garrett's reply makes his heart do a small flip. **ya, I remember**

Andrew smiles to himself. _Maybe we are friends now._ **I'll be right over.**


End file.
